Don't you send me to vm
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
