you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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