ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
