I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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