thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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