she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
