what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
