when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
