So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
