I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't deserve a penis
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
