I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
