I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
