YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
