girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
