wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
