Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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