i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize
