Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
