So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
