I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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