just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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