Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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