the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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