I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We are all done wearing pants today
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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