And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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