Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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