I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
