I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
