this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
one might say we're banned from that church
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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