We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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