You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
