New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just want nice things and good sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
