when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
