Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
