The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
