It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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