last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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