you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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