don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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