I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
