I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
