i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
