I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
