I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
