That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I party with great urgency now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
