i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
