I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
did i just pee glitter
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
