im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
