If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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