Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
