I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
