I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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