im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
